Blog

Month: January 2013

The Undefeated Mind – a great new book about resilience…

… which, says the author encourages: “us to stop hoping for easy lives and instead to focus on finding the inner strength we need to enjoy the difficult lives we all have.” Wise counsel, don’t you think?  If you read nothing else from this book, read the 10 brilliant chapter titles listed below, even without… read more

How to create a truly amazing Life

I want to share with you some encouragement from Daisaku Ikeda that I first read half a lifetime ago, when I began to practise Buddhism. It was written for University students. It is about having a strong sense of purpose, battling against adversity and creating value for yourself and society. I love this article because… read more

Two words to ban from all your arguments

What is the ‘tipping point’ that can cause a small lovers’ tiff to escalate into a huge no-holds-barred argument? There are two little words which cause more damage than most – and neither of them is an expletive. I am thinking of ‘never’ and ‘always.’    As in: “You never listen to me properly!” (Bet… read more

The difference between arrogance and confidence

I was coaching a company director recently who was struggling to get the best from his team. In conversation he revealed that he was worried about appearing ‘too successful’, adding that there was a “very fine line between confidence and arrogance.”  But Buddhism explains that they come from completely different places. Confident leaders want other… read more

The problem with personal development

Consider this scenario: John and Jane are both on the same personal development course. They’re both buying into all the good stuff that says that they could fulfill more of their potential, that they deserve success, that nobody can make them feel mad, bad or sad, that limiting beliefs sometimes hold them back, that they… read more

Only the headwinds make you stronger….

This is a post about gratitude and determination, two massive themes in Nichiren Buddhism. I am currently trying to lose weight (or ‘gain slimness’ as we say in life coaching 🙂 ) and recently went out cycling around a lake in the Leicestershire countryside near my home. After 20 minutes I found myself on a… read more

Why a high IQ ain’t all it’s cracked up to be and can you help me define SQ?

In society and in our educational systems we tend to overrate IQ. To paraphrase the multiple intelligences theory of esteemed psychologist Howard Gardner, we measure how clever you are (intellectually) rather than how you are clever (which could include loads of other talents, such as fixing a car or knowing how to build rapport with people).

The myth of ‘I’ll be happy when…’

Very often I hear people say things like, “I can’t wait till…” or “I’ll be happy when”, or “it will all be OK as soon as”:… (tick any that apply to you): I stop work The kids leave home We’re out shopping for clothes I’m on that beach in Turkey I’ve had my breasts enlarged… read more

Relative and absolute happiness

Nichiren Buddhism makes a really useful distinction between relative happiness and absolute happiness. Relative happiness is, say, when you have built a life that’s financially secure, with good relationships, satisfying work, and robust health. It’s the kind of happiness achieved to the highest degree by, for example, famous footballers, actors and other celebrities. The people… read more

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